Tomorrow will be 13 years since Robby died. I went to a funeral at Christ the King church last week. It's the first time I've been to a funeral at that church since Robby's 13 years ago. I can't really remember his funeral. I don't remember seeing anyone at the church. All the faces in my memories of that event are blank. Angie tells me about it, but I don't remember it. I wish I could. I do remember sitting in the limo outside the church, waiting to go to the cemetery. Angie and I were in the back seat. They put Robby's small casket on the seat in front of us. We had to have one of the pallbearers ride on the seat next to it so it wouldn't tip over at a stop sign. Weird.
I do remember the visitation though. Angie and I arrived at the funeral home early, so that we could spend some time with him before visitors arrived. I think the regular staff were on spring break or something, because the people taking care of us seemed to be very incompetent. We asked if we could go visit him now, and they told us that we could. As we walked up to his casket, and got close enough to see him, we could see that the top of his head had been stitched on, and was in plain sight. It was horrible to see. Angie screamed and cried and we immediately turned around and left the room. I guess we probably knew that he had an autopsy, but never really thought about what they actually did. We were surprised that they didn't try to hide it. After Angie's dad chewed every ass he could find, they finally wrapped a blanket around him in such a way that the stitches were hidden. When we finally got to see him, I remember touching his hand. Angie told me not to, but I did. It was stiff and cold. Not real. I can still feel it in my fingers.
There were lots of people at the visitation. It was strange to me, the number of people that came and knelt by his body that had never seen him alive. I'm thankful that they were there. I remember wanting to leave the whole time. I haven't been back to that funeral home since (Hamilton's on 9th), and don't really want to go back.
Some daffodils and photoshop on a rainy afternoon.
Thirteen years ago today, our car was stolen out of the grocery store parking lot. The kid that took it was 15 (which just so happens is Alex's current age). He took it for a joy ride, put his cigarettes out on the seat, threw out a nice car seat, got chased by the cops, drove it through a fence at a local park, and ran it into a tree, totaling it. Because he was just 15, he pretty much got away with it. He paid us about $200 of the $1200 we were out due to deductible and other stuff.
It's because this car was totaled, that we were standing out in a car lot in the cold and sleet, looking at a 94 Escort wagon when Robby died.
If you're out there somewhere, Jamie Cooper, I forgive you.
Madeline painted Easter eggs today. She had a great time doing it, and did a good job. She is one creative child. She lost another tooth last night, number four for her I think. She has two missing currently, and looks like she belongs in southern Missouri.
Alex, and her youth group at church, did a living Stations of The Cross last night. It was pretty cool. I don't think I've been to Stations since I was in grade school. It was neat all over. Makes me wonder if I'd have been strong enough to stand up for Christ. I doubt it.
I ran my 102nd mile today. 398 to go. It's getting addicting. I just wish my knee would quit hurting. Stupid aging body.
I got to print in the darkroom tonight. I miss it so much. I was without a film camera for a few weeks. I couldn't take it, so I sold some gear and purchased one. I love film. I just wish it were less time consuming and easier. The whole process is so much more rewarding than digital is to me. Digital is easier though, and cheaper.
From grade school through high school, I had a great friend named Andy. Andy's mother passed away a week ago. I went to her funeral on Tuesday. I haven't seen Andy for at least twelve or thirteen years, and don't really know why. I was surprised at how touched I was at the funeral, at how much I felt for Andy and his family. It's funny how some feelings never leave us. I got to talk to Andy on Tuesday night; something I've looked forward to for a long time. I can't believe we're so old now, and have let so much of life get past us without sharing it. I hope we will stay in touch now.
Three weeks from now, I'll be at Taneycomo with the Troutslayers. Angie keeps asking me if I've already left in my mind. Not yet, but very soon dear.
Last Sunday we had a pretty good meltdown. What you see above is our drive way. It was a swamp. Well, the cold air quickly returned and the swamp turned to solid ice again. I've been working all week chipping away at it. We have an eight inch curb of ice to cross each time we pull in and out of the driveway. Come on spring!!!!!
Today, Alex asked me if she could get her cartilage pierced (the upper part of her ear). I made a deal with her. I told her I'd let her get it pierced if she would agree to wear a dress that goes below her knees to the next dance. She agreed. Is that one for me or for her?
The day Robby died, Angie and I were out looking at used cars on a repo lot. In fact, we believe that at the moment he breathed his last, we were looking at a 94 Escort. We ended up buying that car. It's been a great car for us. We're sort of emotionally attached to it. Today, we passed the car on to my brother. It was time to get rid of it. We've put probably 100 miles on it max in the last two years. Tom needed a car, and it now belongs to him. It's weird not having it sitting out there. Like moving on I guess. I'm glad it's staying in the family though. I hope it serves Tom well. He needs that, we need that.